I have found myself spending most of my mornings around 10am with an hour long walk so that
Miller will take his morning nap I can get my little one outdoors while exercising and listening to a sermon podcast all at the same time. Please tell me I am not the only one trying to get as much done as I can at once? Three days ago as I was walking down 9th street listening to a sermon podcast I literally stopped mid step in realization of what I had just heard.
“The good life is who you are.”
The good life is who YOU are. It was in that moment a realization within myself as a woman, wife, friend, mother and simply a human being hit me all at once. A realization that is for EVERY single one of us.
What is considered a “good life?” How does one consider themselves to have a “good life?” How does society view the “good life?”
It is easy to think you are living the good life (or even more so when others think you are living the good life) when you have that perfect job that pays exactly what you feel you need, when you hit that ideal weight you’ve always dreamed of, when your children become what you wanted them to be, or when you have the nicest vehicle out of all of your neighbors. The list could go on and on. The reality is, when one lives with in such a mindset, the actual “good life” will never be found. Every “perfect” job has its flaws and one day you will feel you should be making even more money. Remember the day you wanted to get to 150 pounds? And now you find yourself saying, “if only I can get down to 170 pounds?” Your child may never want to be the doctor you have encouraged them to be and instead dream of opening up a nonprofit company. You can come home with the newest vehicle never driven before just to pull in and see your neighbor have an even newer and nicer upgrade. Our desires, wants, and selfish hearts for more and/or better will never lead to “the good life.” This statement continues into marriage and any relationship one can have.
In marriage or any relationship, it is more than easy to compare yourself to other relationships that surround you. It is even more easy to think, “if he/she would just ______ (fill in the blank) then it would be better . . .this relationship would be a good one (or a good one again).” A good marriage does not mean
your spouse will fulfill you
your spouse will do what you want
your spouse will complete you
your spouse will be who you want them to be
A good marriage is who YOU are to the relationship. Just like your cell phone, vehicle, or garden, if you are good to it and care for it on a daily basis – it will remain good to you.
when you treat your spouse poorly, poorly you will be treated in return.
when you put down your spouse, they will begin to believe it.
when you speak poorly of your spouse, others will view them that way.
when you get mad at them for not doing something you wanted them to do (especially if you never expressed it to them), they won’t want to do it for you.
when you do not love your spouse in their love language, they are less likely to love you in your love language.
when you do not communicate your feelings, they will never know them (THIS IS A HUGE ONE).
when you do not put your spouse FIRST before yourself, they will more than likely not put you BEFORE themselves (another big one).
when you do not consistently pursue your marriage and spouse, your marriage WILL fail.
What if you or a loved one was not here tomorrow? What do you want people to remember about your life and the relationships they see you in? What do you want them to say? What do you want to remember about them after losing someone that is a part of that relationship? Do you want them to remember the way you looked, the house you owned or didn’t own, or the job you had? No. You’d want them to remember the way you spoke, the way you treated them, the way you cared for those around you, the respect you gave, the love you shared, and the selflessness you possessed. It’s who you ARE that will make people say, “they had/have such a good life” or “I have such a good marriage.”
Your relationship will never be like another, nor should it be. Let’s not compare ourselves to others by hoping for a better life, marriage, or relationship and instead embrace what we have fully and be to it what it deserves. A good life, marriage, or relationship is who YOU are to it.
love always, kylie
*featured image by Moments of Grace Photography!