Growing up, I wondered what “my husband” would look like, what his name was, where he lived, what his interests were, and what his family was like. I found myself often laying in bed at night picturing “him” at the end of the aisle, wondering if he had blonde or brown hair, if he was blue eyed or brown eyed, and what his build would be like. Mostly I would wonder when I would meet him and know he was “the one.”
Despite my dreams and desires for wanting to know who my husband was, I failed in many areas of “trying to find him.” That was my problem, I was searching for and finding qualities in men I liked enough to let them into my heart. I dated, I got to know their families, I let them meet my closest friends, I let them experience my passions and interests, and I let them into my heart. I was always trying to find excuses for why the relationship could work or should work. I was letting my dreams get ahead of my heart. I wasn’t listening . . . I was searching. Ladies, from experience . . . searching for him, trying to fix him, and/or settling will unfortunately never bring “the one,” but instead, “a man.”
It’ll be “a man” I went on a date with, a man who I spent too much time trying to make a relationship work with, and a man I knew in my heart was not “the one” all along.
It wasn’t until I let God work in my heart and take over in my dating life did I see that it was His will (and not my own) that would bring me not only “the one,” but MY ONE.
His name would be Brian. He would live in Kansas, enjoy trying craft beers from around the world, have brown eyes, and be an entire foot taller than me. The day I met him I knew he was not only “the one,” but my one. Though I understand many cannot say they knew right away who their spouse was, I can say most can tell you exactly when they knew in their heart. You just have to be willing to listen and follow it.
We became acquainted with one another while on a mission trip ,but it wasn’t until almost a year later that our friendship formed. That year was spent individually focusing on our relationships with Christ and getting to know one another in public settings, quickly becoming best friends. Those eleven months were a huge blessing to us because it allowed us the opportunity to form a strong foundation in our friendship while Brian was completing a dating fast (a fast focused on growing in his relationship with God). Though some days felt like a entire month, in the end, I was so thankful for God’s timing in our friendship because I could literally feel Him working in my heart. Working in my heart to become Brian’s wife. At the end of his year-long dating fast, Brian asked my father’s permission to pursue me and we were soon known as “Brian and Kylie.”
Brian didn’t search for me. I never searched for him. We found each other exactly when God intended for us to meet – for our story to begin.
So ladies, keep dreaming, keep patiently waiting, keep pursuing the relationships and friendships you currently have, and focus on the One who created you for your future husband. He will guide you in His perfect timing.
I can promise you, “the one” will be worth the wait.
Love always, Kylie